It’s a brown paper bag. A regular brown paper bag. It’s not quite large enough to be distributed at a grocery store. Do grocery stores still distribute these? IDK. This is a most special brown bag, because it was my companion all day yesterday. So… what did we do?
1.) First, we found a place to eat. We looked around for a while and decided on Middleway Cafe. The bag sat next to me in the booth as I ate a Spicy Grilled Chicken Sandwich and spilt a “Jungle Love” smoothie with Joey. While at the cafe, I downloaded the book Son, by Lois Lowry, on my iPhone. (I have made it to chapter 5 now.) It’s the sequel to the book The Giver, by the same author. I really don’t care if it’s a “teen” book, I loved The Giver as a kid and always wanted a little more.
2.) Down skirts are kinda popular in Alaska. They keep your thighs and booty warm. I wanted one, because my lower top half always gets so cold on the walk to school. Putting on marshmallow snow pants takes so long and are difficult to walk in, so I was looking for a simpler option. Even when it’s -40*, I usually don’t wear the marshmallow pants, because they are too much trouble. I always wear them when traveling by plane or when going for a ride on the 4 wheeler, though. REI didn’t have my size, but my trusty brown bag was by my side!
3.) In an effort to continue the search for the down skirt, we looked at Sports Authority. No luck either. Maybe I can get one at Christmas. I hope. I think they are totally adorbs!
4.) We gave up on the down skirt and continued our shopping at Sam’s Club. The brown bag rode in the shopping cart as we picked out a 2013 calendar, bought some peanut butter, and even some almonds. It was covered by my coat, otherwise I might worry that someone would suspect something and try to look inside!
5.) We finished up our Sam’s shopping and headed across the street to get some things from Wal-Mart. “I just love shopping at Wal-Mart! The store is so clean and everyone is so friendly!” said no one ever. I discovered that they now sell Seche Vite! Yay Wally World! I also got to get a few Pacific Coconut lifewaters. They are the best! We got to the counter and… my credit card was denied! What? Apparently B of A is not too keen on cardholders using their card a lot in one area. Joey paid for the bundle, and I called B of A in the parking lot, and of course, the brown bag was right by me the whole time: Seche Vite, lifewater, and credit card declining. The lady on the phone kept calling me “Mr. Lastname” I wasn’t too impressed, I just wanted my card to work!
6.) Once she assured me that my card would work, we went to Walgreens. Walgreens used to be my favorite store, until I found CVS! You bet the brown bag was in my hands when I went in there. I carried it just like it was my lunch and I was once again a junior higher… Okay, I probably held on tighter this time!
7.) The final stop with the brown bag was to Fred Meyer. Fred Meyer could be H.E.B.’s cousin, because there everything is better (T.E.B)! Joey said Fred’s has everything Wal-Mart does, but more expensive. I tried to tell him it’s not more expensive, it’s better! It’s so true. I got spoiled going to Fred’s when I lived in Fairbanks. Btw, I totally call it Freddies, Fast Freddies, or Fred’s. Rarely ever is it “Fred Meyer” in my vocab. The brown bag was there to help pick out Joey’s aide’s Christmas present. It was also there when we watched a demo on microfiber cleaning cloths. B-O-R-I-N-G! I picked up some essence stampy polishes, a new yellow polish, and some zig zag scissors! So, a chevron mani is in my future! We survived all those trips, and more importantly, so did the brown bag! It has found a temporary resting place in our hotel room since.
By now you must be wondering what is in the brown bag that is so important that it couldn’t be left out in the car. I couldn’t leave it in the car for fear of it freezing. It’s probably not worth anything to many people. Some people might have interest in it. To me, the bag was worth at least $400. The bag contained four boxes of birth control samples. My insurance does not cover BC, so without these samples, I would be forking over $400 for birth control that is being used for something other than contraception. #whitegirlproblems We kept the bag safe, and all is well with the brown bag.
I was surprised none of the nosey retailers asked to check the brown bag! Have you ever carried a random item around for a day? How did that go?