When you are young, you’re told how not to be a Teen Mom. That is the rule book for responsible girls with bright futures. When she and the love of her life are in the position to have a baby, they do what they can and magically, there is a baby on the way!
Except sometimes there isn’t. Sometimes it just doesn’t happen as nature intended.
That is where we are. After a 7 month trial, and finding out I have low AMH and Chronic Anovulation, we have sought help. I will be on drugs in March. In the mean time, there are some things I have found that totally bother me.
Like when people say:
- “Are you going to have a baby?”
Maybe. I don’t know. Probably not in the next 9 months. Apparently, it is not appropriate to ask this question anytime. I assume if a woman has a baby bump, is sitting on the ground screaming that she is in labor might be an appropriate situation to ask the question, but other than that, no. It is totally not appropriate if she has been trying for 7 months.
- “So-and-so tried for 35 years, before they got pregnant will little Johnny.”
That’s fine for so-and-so. We are not so-and-so. I am Krystal and my husband is Joey. I feel terrible for so-and-so and their former fertility issues. I hope they enjoy little Johnny’s bedtime story tonight.
- “Just stop stressing about it. When people stop stressing is usually when they get pregnant.”
The majority of our trying, up until September was just pulling the goal keeper. I was mildly paying attention, but it was not like a live or die situation. So… it’s not a stress issue. I’m less stressed now than I have been in years, or maybe I just know how to handle it better. Regardless, it has nothing to do with stress, my body is just not working! Relaxation will not cure my MEDICAL problem.
- “At least you don’t have to constantly clean/can easily travel/can do anything you want.”
I guess. My house is not spotless anyway. I would love to take my child to Disney or the Zoo, or anywhere for that matter. I’m a kid at heart who likes to play games at Chuck E. Cheese… childless. I’d rather do everything I want with a baby by my side! It’s kinda like telling someone who just lost their mom, “At least you don’t have to buy a Mother’s Day gift!”
- On Facebook: “This heartburn/morning sickness is the worst!”
Is it? I’ll trade you! I’ll take 9 solid months of heartburn to get a baby in the end. I’ll throw up anytime day or night like a regular bulimic if I get a baby 9 months later! I really just want to comment on it by saying, “Trade ya!” or “Jealous,” but somehow that might not be too appropriate, and might make me appear a little crazy.
What do you say?
- We’re praying for you/sending you good thoughts/sprinkling baby dust on your pictures.
- Don’t lose hope. God has a plan for you. (It’s about me, remember, not the couple that tried for 35 years).
More things that bother me:
- Pee stick pics on Facebook. I’ve probably taken more pee sticks in the last year than all my 777 friends combined. I could post them on Facebook, too. Then again, that just doesn’t seem appropriate.
- I really wanted a May or June baby, which meant that we would be finding out the gender about now. I had it all planned out in my head: we would go to West Virginia for Christmas and simultaneously announce the upcoming birth and gender with the entire family present. We would ask they keep it a secret so we could have a separate but equal announcement in Arkansas a few days later. Mason would be incorporated into one of the announcements via video (since he will not make the long journey until summer), and a few hours later the announcement would go out on Facebook. It would be the happiest Christmas!
- There is no news to announce, so instead I get to see the Royal Couple and Facebook friends announce that their baby is due exactly when I was hoping for one. Congrats! Random FB friend, you have met a guy, started dating, gotten pregnant, engaged, and married in about half the time I’ve been trying!
I wish it were just that easy.