The Berry Almond Walnut Whatever & Other Tales From the Road

Published January 6, 2013 by krystal

I think it would be an understatement to say I took a little blog break. Happy-New-Year-2013-HD-Wallpaper-6 It was a long blog break.  I was relaxing in West Virginia and running around like a chicken with my head cut off in Arkansas.  I wouldn’t trade it for the world, though.  Maybe some day I’ll tell you about it.

Tomorrow I fly back to the place where I work to start work Monday.  Work.  Ugh.

By the way, Happy New Year from all of us at Me & Mason.

Now, for the reason you came here…  Joey and I travel a great deal.  I feel like I say that phrase a lot.  Arkansas and West Virginia are not very close, so during breaks from school, we travel the familiar path down I-40 to visit both sides of the family.  Occasionally, things happen along that road that will not soon be forgotten.

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Summer 2012 we were heading to West Virginia and decided to stop in Dickson, TN for lunch at the Wendy’s in the Pilot Station.  One of those Cheer Moms Dance Moms Soccer Moms Moms who are entirely too obsessed with their children (if you don’t know the type, you might be one!) was in the line next to us ordering food for her entire clan.  The story has changed a little with each time it has been told, so at this point it’s a little out of control.  It would better be portrayed by an SNL skit, but I don’t have Amy Poehler on retainer.  You’re just going to have to imagine it until SNL picks it up.

In one breath, the super involved mom energetically said in her better-than-thou Southern twang,

Image

Ok, so there weren’t walnuts or caesars.. it’s still an awkward name.

“This is my son Jeff, he’s 18, he graduated with a C average and will likely drop out of college before Christmas break, but we still love him because he needs half a berry almond walnut chicken caesar salad and a baked potato.  This is Ashlailee, she’s 16, she’s an All-Star Cheerleading Captain, the Captain of her high school cheer squad, and joined me in womanhood at age eight and a half.  She needs a full size berry almond walnut chicken caesar salad and a bottle of water.  This little guy is Trenton Junior.  He’s 8, sometimes we call him TJ, that stands for Trenton Junior.  He looks more like the UPS man than his father.  Sometimes I worry that his dad might not actually be his dad…so I treat him differently.  I want him to feel like he is just as much a part of the family as Jeff and Ashlailee.  He needs a large Baconator combo with a Mountain Dew.  This is my husband, Trenton, Senior.  He has been going on extended business trips for the past 9+ years but is here now to watch Ashlailee go to her 300th cheer competition.  We just love to support Ashlailee as she cheers for the sake of cheering!  Trenton Senior needs a baked potato and half a berry almond walnut chicken caesar salad.  Finally, I am Ashley.  I’m 36.  I had to give up my senior year of cheerleading to have Jeff.  I just hope Ashlailee gets to cheer through high school and doesn’t have to make the sacrifices I’ve had to make, especially since the entire family has given up so much to watch her cheer!  Oh yeah, I need half a berry almond walnut chicken caesar salad and a Diet Coke… I’m gonna be bad!  Ok, you got that?  This is Jeff, he needs half a berry almond walnut chicken caesar salad and a baked potato…”

(and yes, she went through the family again stating what they all NEEDED.  I’m pretty sure they could have all just wanted these things.)

I wish I could say I made it all up, but the base of the story is 100% true.

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Christmas Break 2012 we were heading south.  I always give Joey a hard time because he likes to drive.  He likes to drive to the point of nearly passing out at the wheel before asking to Imageswitch places.  I had not slept the night before, as I was still battling jet lag.  I slept off and on during the ride and told him I would switch at Jackson, Tennessee.  I felt like I was catching a cold for several days before this, but was feeling okay at the swap.  We swapped and despite his need to change, he only slept for few minutes after Memphis.  He woke up during “Home” and said that he fell asleep to that same song.  It was a pretty uneventful trip until we hit the construction area.  I started feeling like crap, and being at a stand still did not help.  I asked Joey if he wanted to switch back, and we got out of the car, ran around, and went in the opposite door.  That was called a Chinese Fire Drill when I was growing up, I’m not sure what the PC crowd calls it.  I was also told never to do it.  Oops!  And I did it on I-40 too.  😉  I’m such a rebel.  When I woke up, I had a fever!  I was so glad Joey took over!

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It was Summer 2009, Joey and I were heading to Virginia Beach.  We stopped off for a little vacation in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee.  I was very sick.  I think I actually had Swine Flu before ImageSwine Flu got to be the scare of the year and vaccines were on every street corner.

I was miserable and I had to try to enjoy this little Pigeon Forge stop.  I just remember wanting to throw up after eating at Logan’s and Joey trying to be all sweet and stuff.  I wanted to see all that Pigeon Forge had to offer, but I didn’t have the energy to leave my hotel bed.  My sickly self had to get up early the second morning to leave for Virginia Beach.  I remember praying on the way that I would get better so I could enjoy the beach.  I healed, but not before taking a huge detour courtesy of Ms. Garmina herself!

ImageWhen leaving Pigeon Forge, we put Virginia Beach as our destination on the Garmin and took off!  Along the way we took some strange turns.  One turn lead to a single lane paved road.  A few miles later the pavement ran out and we were on a single gravel road that twisted and turned (a really good ride for a chick who was super nauseous hours before).  I was getting upset and told Joey to turn off on to a different road (as if the turn offs looked any better).  We eventually made our way back to a normal road and somehow arrived at Virginia Beach.

I don’t know how Garmina ever knew about that single lane dirt road, but I kinda wished she didn’t!  Surely there was a normal paved road between Pigeon Forge and Virginia Beach… idk.  It was 2009 after all!

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Happy trails to you, until you read again!
Krystal*

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