I Need to Grow Up Before I Have a Baby?

Published September 3, 2013 by krystal

I’m sure we’ve all had the experience of someone telling us something outrageous.  When we share the information with another, they say, “Oh yeah, I don’t put any stock into what they say.  Don’t worry about it.  Don’t let it get to you.”  As much as you tell yourself that, “It’s not me, it’s them,” you still constantly let those words cut into you.  Ouch.  Loss of sleep follows.  The Entire. Drive. To. Work. Is spent obsessing over the words. 

I’m pregnant.  I’ll go ahead and put that out there, since all of Facebook knows anyway.  My baby is due March 10.

Along with a “Congratulation!” recently, I was also told “You have a lot of maturing to do before the baby comes.”  I just smiled a confused smile, because in my book, being grown consists of not making a scene and avoiding conflicting situations.  (However, venting in a blog is fully acceptable!  Hey, I’m technically anonymous.)

What?

Mature?

Let’s explore the ways in which I believe I’m mature.

  • I moved nearly 4,000 miles from home.  I survived on my own for one year, and with my husband for 4.  In that time, I did not once set the house on fire.  Together, we kept the place clean (not tidy, really, but not filthy or dusty), managed to have food on the table, and made it to work a couple of minutes early each day, wearing clean clothes.  While up there, I moved a total of three times. Twice, I had Jarrod’s help, but moving was still a chore (2 people=double the help and double the stuff!)
  • Did I mention that during the last two years I was in grad school?  The move took place in the middle of my finals?  We had a lot of clutter around the house because with two full time teachers and two full time grad students, picking up was not really a priority. BUT, the bathrooms were cleaned, the place was dusted, the fridge didn’t stink, and dishes were done regularly.  (There wasn’t junk on the floor either, so it wasn’t THAT bad.)
  • I have managed to own a cat for a little over 5 years.  I have kept him feed, watered, and with a clean litter box.  If I were so irresponsible and immature, Mason would not be here today!
  • I have held down a career for 5 years.  Not a part-time job at a big box store or a restaurant, no an actual career.  Oh yeah, and I was at the same school district for 5 years.  I left VOLUNTARILY, and on good terms.  Meaning, I could go back if I wished (and there was an opening).
  • I have managed to pay all my bills on time for 5 years.  Granted, now living in the Lower 48 means there are many more bills, but those are all paid on time, with money in the bank budgeted for those costs.
  •  Along with bills, I managed to pay off the $7,000 in credit card debt I had from college.  (I did that BEFORE December of my first teaching year, thank you very much.)  Now, five years and four months out of college, my original $18,000 student loan debt is a whopping $1,000, and will be paid off this time next year.
  • I don’t “party.”  The last party I went to was for a 2 year old!  The last bar was a dairy bar, and the last club was the Lions Club!  I stopped smoking 11 months ago, so surely those behaviors were not what she was referring to.
  • My undergraduate degree is in Early Childhood Education (Birth-4th grade), meaning:  I learned about babies in college.  I feel very prepared.
  • For cryin’ out loud, I’ll be 30 when the kid gets here!  Not 15 or 20, no, 30!!!  Is it really customary to tell a 30 year old married woman of 3 years that she needs to grow up before she has a baby?!?!?

Ok.  I did sit back and consider some possibilities.  I certainly do not think that I’m Mrs. Responsible all the time.  The following situations are possible areas she could have been referring to:

  •  I don’t like bugs.  I’m allergic to bees, wasps, and apparently gnats now too.  Getting stung by a bee or wasp means that I need immediate Benadryl (can pregnant women have Benadryl?) and I’m out for the remainder of the day.  See?  I’m scared because I don’t want to spend half a day recovering from a sting.  I’m also a little terrified by every other bug on the planet.  In Alaska, there were flies, head lice, mosquitoes, and bed bugs.  Three out of the four were not bugs you wanted to encounter.  Needless to say, I have a lot more adjusting to do before I can get used to all the bugs!
  •  I am a happy, giggly person who likes to have fun.  I don’t think that being grown means I have to be stiff and boring.  I want my child to grow up with happy parents, who like to have fun.  Will we have rules?  Yes!  Chores?  Yes!  When my child is older will he/she say, “When I was a kid, I watched Dora!”?  Ok, maybe, but I want them to say, “When I was a kid, my mom played dolls with me/my mom played cops and robbers with me.”  I’ll probably be more excited about his/her first set of legos than he/she is!  And if that makes me an immature, bad parent, then so be it!  I can’t change who I am.  If I wanted, I could make a list of how I think she is a bad parent, but I’m too mature for that sort of behavior.

Perhaps I missed something.

4 comments on “I Need to Grow Up Before I Have a Baby?

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