Baby!

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Totally Wrong, But Completely Perfect: The Birth of My Daughter

Published April 21, 2014 by krystal

It’s been nearly 8 weeks since the most beautiful little girl joined our lives.  I figured it was past time to record her story, before I forget anything else!

February 17 I was 3 days shy of my 30th birthday, and had my 37th week check up in the afternoon.  My blood pressure had been a little high in the previous weeks, so my doctor had told me to take it easy.  I kept my feet up as much as I could, and tried to rest as much as I could.  When I got to the doctor’s office, my blood pressure was better, and I had lost some weight due to decreased swelling.  I was so excited!  The excitement was soon extinguished when the doctor told me that this was my last appointment.  I would be induced the following Monday.  I had made no progress toward labor, and the doctor warned me that a c section was likely due to failed induction. I cried.  I absolutely loved being pregnant, and I wanted her to be born on her timeline, not the doctors!  Strangers rarely said mean things (family, on the other hand…), I loved when she pushed her fingers against my belly, I loved the excitement, I even loved the doctor’s appointments!  There was never a point that I wanted her out, well, not until that afternoon in the doctor’s office.  I must have prayed 10 times a day that she’d be born before my induction date.  But… she wasn’t.

February 24– My husband’s school threw us a baby shower.  Joey’s parents made it in from West Virginia just in time for the shower.  I didn’t sleep very well the night before (due to nerves), so I headed home as soon as the shower was over to try to rest (ha!).  Once Joey got home, my mom came over briefly to take a few maternity pics.  I really wanted them done, but didn’t get around to it until the very last-minute.  We got to lay down for about an hour after the pictures, but we were both too excited to think about napping!

7:15 pm– We left the house and went to Popeye’s.  They said I should have a “light dinner,” but we honestly didn’t have much time prepare anything light, plus I knew that this would be the last food I got to eat for a long time!

8:00 pm– We got to the hospital, and they were all ready for us!  I was the only L&D patient at the time, so I was treated extra special.  The night nurse that evening was one of my favorites, despite her obsession with the fetal heart monitor.  I had two belts strapped around my belly:  one to measure the baby’s heartbeat, and one to measure my contractions.  I also got to wear a blood pressure cuff constantly.  Every 30 minutes my blood pressure was automatically taken.  I was also poked for an IV, but nothing was started.  Having that on my hand was so uncomfortable!  I could barely move my hand!  The nurse gave me my first dose of Cytotec around 9:15, she looked at me and said, “Well, you’re in labor!”  She also told me to try to rest, that she would be back around 2:00 for my next dose.  oey and I stayed up talking for a couple of hours, and checking out the room.  The nurse said I could eat until midnight, so Joey went and got us some dessert from the cafeteria, because I knew it would be a long time before I could eat again!

11:15 pm- We turned off the lights and tried to relax.  Joey went to sleep almost immediately, since he had a full day at work.  He was also starting to fight a cold/sinus infection, so he was all ready for some sleep.  I was exhausted from only sleeping 2 hours the night before, but I was having trouble sleeping again.  Every time I moved, we lost the baby on the fetal heart monitor.  For some reason, she only wanted me to lay flat on my back.  I am not much of a back sleeper, so you can imagine how frustrating the situation was.  There was a point where I laid on my side and slept for 45 minutes.  The nurse came in and said she let me get a little sleep.  I think she just got too busy, because there were so many people coming in during the wee hours in labor.

2:00 am–  The nurse came back to give me more Cytotec.  She told me that there really was no progress, but that was pretty normal.  She said that at 6:00 I would either get a third dose of Cytotec, or it would be Pitocin time, depending on what the doctor said.  She left, and the remaining four hours were similar to the previous four:  no sleep.  At one point, I almost fell asleep, but then a woman in the room next door had her baby.  She screamed, then the baby cried.  and cried.  and cried.  So I stayed up.

6:00 am- The nurse came in and said the doctor was ready to put me on Pitocin.  I was so excited, but also really nervous.  I was hoping I could get a little rest sometime, but before I knew it, the sun was up, and there were people in and out of my room.

8:00 am- My parents showed up around 8:00.  They had been to McDonald’s, but respected the “No food in the delivery room” rule that I set in place.  The way I saw it was that if I couldn’t have food, no one could have food (in there).  Others could leave, but I was pretty much stuck in that room.  They brought Joey breakfast, so he went in the hall to eat.  I started having irregular contractions about this time too.

9:00 am- Joey’s parents showed up.

10:00 am-  The doctor had the Pitocin up as high as it could go, but my contractions had completely stopped.  My blood pressure was getting a little high.  The nurse was ready to “check” me, so everyone but Joey was asked to leave.  Unfortunately, she reported the same info as before:  no progress.  Then she told me that she would go call the doctor, but more than likely, the doctor would want me to have a C-section around noon.  I couldn’t believe it!  I had only been on Pitocin for 4 hours!  I was so not ready for a C-section at that point!

10:30 am- That must have been the longest phone call to the doctor ever, because my water broke while waiting to hear back.  I called the nurse, she checked the “water” with a piece of something and left the room.  When she returned, she told me that my water had broken and she wanted to check me again.  This time I was 2 cm dilated!  I was also having contractions about 5-6 minutes apart.  I was so excited!  I had went from nothing to lots of progress all in 30 minutes!  I asked the nurse if this meant my C-section would be postponed.  She said she didn’t know, but would definitely call the doctor and ask her. Most of the remainder of the time was kind of a blur.  My contractions increased to 2 minutes apart, and without any pain killers, it was a little rough.  My mom came in, and I told her what was going on.  The doctor came in and talked to me about having a C-section.  I told the doctor I could feel the baby pushing on my pelvis.  She said that the baby couldn’t get through, she was stuck.  I agreed to the C-section, and begged the doctor to turn off the Pitocin.  She said, “Oh, yeah, we’ll get that turned off, you’ll still have contractions, but they’ll be lighter.”  Then she left!  The Pitocin was still pumping until the next nurse came in.  Talk about terrible and unnecessary pain!  Why didn’t the doctor just turn off the Pitocin? My time-table is all out of whack, but I can imagine that they wheeled me across the hall around 1:00 pm.  The starvation (15 hours with no food is a very long time when you’re pregnant), exhaustion (less than 3 hours of sleep in two days), and all the pain left me a little delirious, to say the least.  Between contractions, I got up and sat in the wheelchair.  At this point, the contractions were still there.  They were still pretty strong, but further apart.  They wheeled me down the hall.  We turned into another small hallway where Joey was.  He was putting on his surgery outfit.  When I got in the cold surgery room, I had to climb on this tall, black, cold, vinyl-like table.  And the lights!  It was so bright in there!  On top of the brightness, they had this giant spot light on me.  And I thought the dentists light was bad… It seemed very skinny compared to my big comfy hospital bed.  They made me sit on the edge and lean over.  At 38+1 weeks along, my body, particularly my back, did not bend very far.  My new nurse (who wasn’t as awesome as the night nurse) was pushing down on my shoulders.  They had a cape over my back with a hole in it showing him where to inject the anesthesia.  The anesthesiologist made these random streaks across my back.  It tickled! Talk about awkward: pain of contraction, inability to bend over, shivering from cold, and now having the guy tickle my back.  It was actually very uncomfortable.  I guess I finally bent over enough, because he got the spinal block in. I still felt normal at first, but all of the nurses and doctors were rushing me to put my feet up and lay down.  My arms were spread out straight on each side.  They were putting iodine on me, placing a catheter, and putting up the curtain, when the numbness came suddenly.  Joey  came in and sat on the left side of my face.  He kept asking me how I was, and I told him I didn’t feel good.  That was all I could get out.  As quickly as the anesthesia hit, the nausea quickly followed.  Joey said I turned white.

1:30 pm– I honestly never felt a thing, but the nausea was quickly replaced by surprise when I heard the baby crying!  They didn’t hold her up to me or anything, they just put her in the clear bassinet 5 feet away.  They cleaned her up a little, put a hat and diaper on her, weighed her, and measured her.  I kept trying to see her, but it was too hard.  No body was saying a word, so finally I just asked, “Is it still a girl?”  Someone said yes.  Joey was crying.  He came over and between sobs told me she had 10 fingers and 10 toes, and that I did a good job.  I probably would have cried too if I didn’t physically feel so weird inside.  Before I knew it, they picked me up off the operating table and put me back in the bed.  That was a weird feeling.  All I could feel was my head.  My arms were numb, and the rest of me was nonexistent.  They wheeled me back to my original L&D room, with Joey and the baby following shortly behind.  As we were going down the hall, I felt a little sick again.  Those wheeling me joked that most people feel sick at that point.  When we got to the room, they put her on my chest for some bonding time.  Once we stopped moving I felt all right. We got to spend a little over an hour in the room together, before she was taken to the nursery for real cleaning and further testing.  Joey went out to tell our family that she was in there, and my mom came in to say hi.  I really don’t remember what she said, though.  My sister-in-law and nephew came in my room to say hi too.  I must have looked scary, because he’s usually pretty social, and this time he had very little to say.  He just looked at everything in the room. I knew that there were a lot of babies being born and that there wasn’t a whole lot of room on the recovery side.  I didn’t know how long I was going to have to stay in the L&D room, and was happy when one of the nurses said we’d be moving soon!  The baby returned from the nursery just in time to be moved with us.  Everyone grabbed something, and several things were piled on my bed for the trip down the hall.  They put me in the room next to the door, which was furthest from the nurses station.  At first, they didn’t have a bed for Joey, so He just stood around with our parents and my great-aunt and uncle.

4:30 pm– A nurse came in and put these cuffs on my legs.  She told me that I couldn’t feel them.  I told her I could.  They squeezed my legs periodically, it actually felt quite nice.  I don’t think she believed me, even though that’s what went on.  Around 5:00 or 5:30, they brought me some dinner.  It was pretty gross, so I only ate a little.  If I would have known I could have eaten, I would have asked somebody to bring me something better!  Everyone left shortly after I ate, because we were so exhausted!

7:00 pm– We both fell asleep.  I figured we would all sleep for days, but we were back up around 11:30.  We were up for a couple of hours before falling back asleep.  I was up off and on through the night feeling sick.  Plus, I was in shock that we actually, finally had a baby, and how awesome she was!

The C Section- I was deathly afraid of having a C Section.  I had read tons of info online about how terrible they were, and how my baby would be born with pneumonia or worse.  I was afraid I would be bedridden for weeks after and be unable to do anything.  I thought my entire incision would bust open and all my insides would fall out.  Seriously, why do they get such a bad rap?  Fortunately, I had talked to my BFF about her terrible attempt at a vaginal delivery and how the C Section was a very welcomed alternative.  She was up walking 3 hours after the surgery, so I knew it couldn’t be that bad.  Her story definitely helped me, especially when I realized that my baby was not going to come down my pelvis.  Now, I couldn’t imagine having a baby any other way!  Which is good, because I don’t think I know any VBAC doctors!  I don’t really want to either.  The C Section was fine, and actually probably less painful for me.  I didn’t take any painkillers for pain after I got home, and was okay when one of the nurses gave me my iv painkiller an hour late.  After a few days, though, the staples started itching.  I was very glad when they were removed!

The C Section was totally wrong according to many people, but we got the happiest ending ever.  It was perfect.

Pinterest, Ugh! or Why I Hate Pinterest!

Published December 1, 2013 by krystal

Yesterday evening, I posted this on my Facebook.  I even tagged my husband because of how furious I was at the concept of Pinterest!  I had an overwhelming ONE like.  That overwhelming one?  It was my husband, Joey, who was sitting right next to me in the car when I made the meme.  Joey said that our friends must all be those lazy copy cats.  That made me laugh a little, and I almost felt a little okay with the situation.

Allow me to walk you through the events.  On October 7, we found out that our baby would be a little girl.  The very next day, we threw together a fun little scavenger hunt where my parents and my brother’s family ran through and around the house searching for clues that would eventually lead them to the final hiding spot, which held a scratch off ticket revealing the gender.  The idea of the scratch off came from this joke between my dad and me.  The idea of having a scavenger hunt stemmed from the fact that bow hunting season had just started.  The clues for the game were also made up by me.  Everyone had an awesome time and loved the hunt!

The final clue, leading the hunters to the two cabinets above the stove.

The final clue for Joey’s family, leading the hunters to the two cabinets above the stove.

We decided to do the same thing for Joey’s family on Thanksgiving, but since I had longer to plan it, the clue cards were much cuter, new clues were added, and there were much more of them.  Several of the clues at our house were specific for us or our house, so we had to make them a little more general to fit in my in laws house.

These were considerably nicer than the plain black and white ones used for the party in Arkansas.  Needless to say, I saved them all for our little girl’s scrapbook.  One day, she’ll love to see them and hear the stories from her gender reveal parties!

It’s not like it took forever, but it did take the better part of an evening to think up the clues and then choose the style for the cards.  Of course, it was also important to make sure the cards had the correct flow, otherwise, the hunters might get stuck in the bathroom and not know where to go next!

The final clues, as they were hidden above the stove.

The scratch off cards, as they were hidden above the stove.

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Joey’s mom took pictures of the clues and the final scratch off announcing that we’re having a girl.  She couldn’t contain her excitement and showed the pictures to half the county.  I guess she showed this snobby girl who graduated with Joey.  Her response to my MIL?  “Well, somebody’s been on Pinterest.”  Seriously?  Did I really just spend an entire evening using my own ideas and creativity just to have my originality reduced to a Pin?  I did not click “download” and “print” off Pinterest.  No, each and every clue was well thought out and typed up by ME.

Now, I’m not saying that I’m the first person ever to have a scavenger hunt, nor am I saying that I’m the first to reveal my baby’s gender with a scratch off card.  I might be one of the first to combine the two…  Whatever.  IDC.  Just give me a little credit for my time and hard work!  If I did snatch something off Pinterest, I’d totally admit it, but I certainly could not see myself creating an entire party from a Pin.

Ugh.  Until next time, Happy Pinning!

Social Media and My Kid

Published September 12, 2013 by krystal

     I have Facebook friends who post a new cluster of pictures of their child at least twice a week.  I also have Facebook friends who very rarely post photos of their child.  I recently read an article about a couple who decided to leave their child off of the internet, but make a Facebook, email account, Instagram, and Twitter using their name.  I’ve been thinking a little about what degree of presence my kid will have on social media. 

     Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s fun to look at pictures of my friend’s kids.  Some are hilarious!  Some are so precious. Truthfully though, if I saw them and their child in a store, I would probably recognize their child before I would recognize them. Simply because the child’s most recent photo is their profile and page cover photo.  They rarely post their own photos, but opt for one’s of their little ones to fill their timeline instead.  I think it’s great that they love their children and want to show them off, but I’m not sure if that’s a route I’d like to go. 

I’m not personally a fan of excessive posting

     Say I were to name my child Jane Doe.  Providing that Facebook is still around, when she is 13 I allow her to get a Facebook account.  How would she feel when she added me if she found over 100 albums of “Jane’s pics?”  Every moment, no matter how large or small, were documented for all of my Facebook friends to see.  The awkward moments were there, along with the embarrassing ones.   As a 13 year old, I would have died if I were introduced to an online collection of my life in photos.  The only thing that would make that situation worse would be to know that it was posted for so many to see.  I had several periods of my life that I feel I looked awkward.  As a mildly insecure 13 year old, there is no way I would have wanted any of those photos to be seen. Teens and parents have enough relationship issues, why complicate it by throwing a massive social media scrapbook into the mix? 

     There is the possibility that my child will be upset that their entire life was not published online for the world to see.  In that event, I plan to hand her a flash drive or CD (or perhaps and external hard drive?) full of those pics, and let her go to town posting it on her own Facebook, or mine I guess, if she wanted to. 

     Now, let’s pretend that a little while after Jane is born, I get pregnant again with Joey Junior (I would never name my kid Junior, btw).  My hands are so full with Jane that I don’t get around to uploading nearly as many photos of Junior as I did with Jane. Junior might not be very happy when he found out he only had 30 albums of “Junior’s Pics,” compared to Jane’s 100.  Perhaps as a boy he wouldn’t care.  Perhaps as a boy he would.  Perhaps he wouldn’t be a boy at all…

     Then there’s always the possibility that someone could hack into my account or a friends account, find out what school my child went to, then by facial recognition alone call them by their name.  They could pull the whole, “Jane, your mommy sent me to pick you up…”  Or I suppose if they saw us in a store and I turned around for a minute…  You get the point.  I don’t want my child to be recognizable to strangers online.  Is it just me, or is that a little creepy:  Many people know a ton about Jane, but Jane doesn’t know any of them. 

     I suppose the easiest fix would be to only have close friends and family on Facebook.  But honestly, I want more than that.  I like keeping up with others, and I like reading articles they post.  I like having a lot of Facebook friends (except during election time!).

I don’t like the avoidance of posting either

     I’ll just go ahead and start this section with the couple who opted to make their child her own online presence before birth.  They made all of the accounts private, but logged into them to keep them active.  All of the social media accounts were linked to the email account.  They made a binder with the account information and passwords so that she could log in when she reached the appropriate age.  I’m blindly assuming that the email address they chose was similar to jdoe@gmail.com , where the address was the first initial and last name.  It could have been whole name too, I suppose:  janedoe@yahoo.com.  To me, that’s kind of silly.  As a 13 year old, she might possibly want something more fun (like blondiegirl2013@yahoo.com )until she was older and actually needed a professional-sounding email account, idk, just a thought.  That couple seemed a bit over the top to me.  They actually Googled the baby’s name to make sure that it did not already belong to someone they wouldn’t want their child to be confused for.  Maybe I’m wrong, but usually people are over 20 by the time they get a record online (yes, some are younger, I know).  That means if they did locate a “bad guy” with their child’s name, the bad guy would be nearly 40 by the time the baby was seeking employment.  Kinda hard to confuse a 20 year old and a 40 year old, right?  Confession:  After reading this, I totally Googled both of my first choice kid’s names.  The male is a relative of Joey, so of course the relative popped up.  There was nothing for the girl though.  My names are pretty unique.  Our last name is pretty unique.  I’m not saying our kids will be the only ones alive in America with their names, but it could be a possibility.  It’s not the goal, though.

     Now, if I never posted a picture of Jane, people might wonder if I actually made the child up (lol).  After all, I still haven’t posted the first ultrasound.  Joey and I do want to occasionally post a pic, maybe a few a year, but not to the point that everyone’s feed is littered with Jane and nothing but Jane.  I do not plan to put just Jane as my profile pic  (My page is somehow linked thorugh Google, and everyone can see my profile pic.).  It’s not Jane’s Facebook, it’s mine.  J  We also want people to be able to see her pics occasionally, but not necessarily everything she’s ever done, if that makes sense.

What about relatives far away?

     We certainly want family members from far away to see her photos!  How did people share photos years ago?  By actually printing and mailing them!  Ok, we’re not really that old school.  We’ll probably send them via text.  We may even create an online photo album that is not connected to Facebook.  Either of those would be good options to keep family updated without having Jane plastered all over social media.  

What if others post pics of Jane?

     ImageI guess that would be fine.  I’d prefer not to be linked back to the pictures though.  I want her online presence to be a minimum.  I’ve also considered the possibility of posting pictures 3-6 months later, so there is never a current photo online.

 

                My reasoning is just so that she can keep her privacy before she has the opportunity to make decisions for herself.  I realize that parents are the ones who make decisions for minor children, but posting excessive photos on social media is not a decision I want to make for her.

Maybe I’m being a bit extreme but it seems like in a few years we’ll see lawsuits pop up between kids and parents.  We’ll see the kid suing for invasion of privacy, exploitation, any number of things.   Hey, it’s possible!

The First Trimester

Published September 8, 2013 by krystal

It all started on the “First Annual In-Law Family Gathering” in

Pirates vs. Dodgers!

Pirates vs. Dodgers!

June.  Ok, that’s what I’m going to call it because 1.) Joey can’t come up with a last name for my blog; 2.) We were chilling with MY in-laws; and 3.) We plan to do it every year (the gathering, not necessarily the pregnancy).  It might have been the excitement of the Pirate’s win over the Dodgers that sparked the baby to come to life, or perhaps it was the upside down and high speed roller coasters that shook my system into functional, either way, something worked!

A side note:  June was my 4th or 5th month using an Ovulation Predictor Kit (OPK).  In the few months before, I always got a positive on the 13th day.  In June, I did not get a positive on day 13, 14, 15, or 16.  I stopped after 16 was negative, thinking that something was just wrong that month.

June 20– This was probably one of my worst days ever.  I had a migraine.  I’ve only ever had 2 in my life.  This was the worst.  Every little sound was magnified, and I was grouchy because of lights and the noise.  Interestingly enough, Joey also woke up with throwing up and with a migraine.  We both thought we had overdone working at our new house.  I don’t know what was wrong with Joey, but for me, it was the baby!

June 29– This was our first morning in our new house.  We spent many hours painting and getting it ready to move in.  I was two days late, so I decided that the first thing I would do when I woke up was to take a pregnancy test.  As I sat there waiting for the digital display, Mason came up.  He acted like he was watching it too.  At one point I said, “Don’t get excited, Mason, it always says no.”  A few seconds later the reading appeared.  It didn’t say no this time.  It said pregnant!  I rushed into the bedroom, woke Joey, and told him to look.  Since he had just woken up, he was not as excited, and he could not read, since he did not have his glasses on.  He told me that I needed to take another test to be sure (because false positives are sooooo common).  The second test was positive too!  He suggested I take a third, and I told him he was crazy.  I was so excited, but there was one little problem:  my insurance was up the next day.  Sure, we had purchased temporary insurance to cover us from July 1- September 1, but that insurance did not cover prenatal visits.  It also said that they would not insure pregnant women.  Oops!  We were so lost and did not know what to do!  The only thing we could think of was to call Joey’s oldest brother.  Him and his wife are older and more well versed in the ways of the world, so without telling our parents, they were the first option.  Big brother said I wouldn’t need to go to the doctor until I was 8 or 10 weeks any way.  He said we should go ahead and tell people when we wanted, but leave it off Facebook, just in case something happened and we had to use that temporary insurance (Then I could pretend not to know at that doctor’s office).  I had already had a first interview that was promising, with a very positive outlook on that position, so I had a feeling it would work out.

July 3 & 4– We told our parents about the baby via a video I made and posted on YouTube.

July 8– I got the job!  I found out shortly thereafter that my insurance would start August 1!  Perfect!

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August 6– I had my first doctor’s appointment.  The baby actually looked like a baby, not a bean or whatever.  It actually kinda made me think of the worm from The Labyrinth.  It didn’t have the curve in it like that, and it’s little arms and legs were crossed in front.  It was so sweet seeing the little kid!  It’s heartbeat was 179.

 

My September appointment was relatively routine.  I had to do an early glucose test, since diabetes runs in my family.  It came back negative, so that was great.  We heard the baby’s heartbeat.  It was 151.  I scheduled my October appointment, and we’ll get to find out what we’re having (if the baby cooperates).

The whole pregnancy hasn’t been too bad.  I woke up sick at 1:30 one night.  That lasted a terrible 15 minutes, but fortunately hasn’t happened again.  I usually have a stomach ache at least once a day, but it’s not too bad.  If I stand too long or walk too far, my back hurts.  I have the nose of a bloodhound, which is nice when things smell good, but is terrible when things smell bad.  Then there’s the acne, and bacne.  I had a better complexion all through my teen years.  Other than the fact that Mason doesn’t really want much to do with me, the whole first trimester has been okay.  I’m not sure if I’m one who loves being pregnant… yet, but it’s not bad either!

I Need to Grow Up Before I Have a Baby?

Published September 3, 2013 by krystal

I’m sure we’ve all had the experience of someone telling us something outrageous.  When we share the information with another, they say, “Oh yeah, I don’t put any stock into what they say.  Don’t worry about it.  Don’t let it get to you.”  As much as you tell yourself that, “It’s not me, it’s them,” you still constantly let those words cut into you.  Ouch.  Loss of sleep follows.  The Entire. Drive. To. Work. Is spent obsessing over the words. 

I’m pregnant.  I’ll go ahead and put that out there, since all of Facebook knows anyway.  My baby is due March 10.

Along with a “Congratulation!” recently, I was also told “You have a lot of maturing to do before the baby comes.”  I just smiled a confused smile, because in my book, being grown consists of not making a scene and avoiding conflicting situations.  (However, venting in a blog is fully acceptable!  Hey, I’m technically anonymous.)

What?

Mature?

Let’s explore the ways in which I believe I’m mature.

  • I moved nearly 4,000 miles from home.  I survived on my own for one year, and with my husband for 4.  In that time, I did not once set the house on fire.  Together, we kept the place clean (not tidy, really, but not filthy or dusty), managed to have food on the table, and made it to work a couple of minutes early each day, wearing clean clothes.  While up there, I moved a total of three times. Twice, I had Jarrod’s help, but moving was still a chore (2 people=double the help and double the stuff!)
  • Did I mention that during the last two years I was in grad school?  The move took place in the middle of my finals?  We had a lot of clutter around the house because with two full time teachers and two full time grad students, picking up was not really a priority. BUT, the bathrooms were cleaned, the place was dusted, the fridge didn’t stink, and dishes were done regularly.  (There wasn’t junk on the floor either, so it wasn’t THAT bad.)
  • I have managed to own a cat for a little over 5 years.  I have kept him feed, watered, and with a clean litter box.  If I were so irresponsible and immature, Mason would not be here today!
  • I have held down a career for 5 years.  Not a part-time job at a big box store or a restaurant, no an actual career.  Oh yeah, and I was at the same school district for 5 years.  I left VOLUNTARILY, and on good terms.  Meaning, I could go back if I wished (and there was an opening).
  • I have managed to pay all my bills on time for 5 years.  Granted, now living in the Lower 48 means there are many more bills, but those are all paid on time, with money in the bank budgeted for those costs.
  •  Along with bills, I managed to pay off the $7,000 in credit card debt I had from college.  (I did that BEFORE December of my first teaching year, thank you very much.)  Now, five years and four months out of college, my original $18,000 student loan debt is a whopping $1,000, and will be paid off this time next year.
  • I don’t “party.”  The last party I went to was for a 2 year old!  The last bar was a dairy bar, and the last club was the Lions Club!  I stopped smoking 11 months ago, so surely those behaviors were not what she was referring to.
  • My undergraduate degree is in Early Childhood Education (Birth-4th grade), meaning:  I learned about babies in college.  I feel very prepared.
  • For cryin’ out loud, I’ll be 30 when the kid gets here!  Not 15 or 20, no, 30!!!  Is it really customary to tell a 30 year old married woman of 3 years that she needs to grow up before she has a baby?!?!?

Ok.  I did sit back and consider some possibilities.  I certainly do not think that I’m Mrs. Responsible all the time.  The following situations are possible areas she could have been referring to:

  •  I don’t like bugs.  I’m allergic to bees, wasps, and apparently gnats now too.  Getting stung by a bee or wasp means that I need immediate Benadryl (can pregnant women have Benadryl?) and I’m out for the remainder of the day.  See?  I’m scared because I don’t want to spend half a day recovering from a sting.  I’m also a little terrified by every other bug on the planet.  In Alaska, there were flies, head lice, mosquitoes, and bed bugs.  Three out of the four were not bugs you wanted to encounter.  Needless to say, I have a lot more adjusting to do before I can get used to all the bugs!
  •  I am a happy, giggly person who likes to have fun.  I don’t think that being grown means I have to be stiff and boring.  I want my child to grow up with happy parents, who like to have fun.  Will we have rules?  Yes!  Chores?  Yes!  When my child is older will he/she say, “When I was a kid, I watched Dora!”?  Ok, maybe, but I want them to say, “When I was a kid, my mom played dolls with me/my mom played cops and robbers with me.”  I’ll probably be more excited about his/her first set of legos than he/she is!  And if that makes me an immature, bad parent, then so be it!  I can’t change who I am.  If I wanted, I could make a list of how I think she is a bad parent, but I’m too mature for that sort of behavior.

Perhaps I missed something.

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