baby

All posts tagged baby

Pinterest, Ugh! or Why I Hate Pinterest!

Published December 1, 2013 by krystal

Yesterday evening, I posted this on my Facebook.  I even tagged my husband because of how furious I was at the concept of Pinterest!  I had an overwhelming ONE like.  That overwhelming one?  It was my husband, Joey, who was sitting right next to me in the car when I made the meme.  Joey said that our friends must all be those lazy copy cats.  That made me laugh a little, and I almost felt a little okay with the situation.

Allow me to walk you through the events.  On October 7, we found out that our baby would be a little girl.  The very next day, we threw together a fun little scavenger hunt where my parents and my brother’s family ran through and around the house searching for clues that would eventually lead them to the final hiding spot, which held a scratch off ticket revealing the gender.  The idea of the scratch off came from this joke between my dad and me.  The idea of having a scavenger hunt stemmed from the fact that bow hunting season had just started.  The clues for the game were also made up by me.  Everyone had an awesome time and loved the hunt!

The final clue, leading the hunters to the two cabinets above the stove.

The final clue for Joey’s family, leading the hunters to the two cabinets above the stove.

We decided to do the same thing for Joey’s family on Thanksgiving, but since I had longer to plan it, the clue cards were much cuter, new clues were added, and there were much more of them.  Several of the clues at our house were specific for us or our house, so we had to make them a little more general to fit in my in laws house.

These were considerably nicer than the plain black and white ones used for the party in Arkansas.  Needless to say, I saved them all for our little girl’s scrapbook.  One day, she’ll love to see them and hear the stories from her gender reveal parties!

It’s not like it took forever, but it did take the better part of an evening to think up the clues and then choose the style for the cards.  Of course, it was also important to make sure the cards had the correct flow, otherwise, the hunters might get stuck in the bathroom and not know where to go next!

The final clues, as they were hidden above the stove.

The scratch off cards, as they were hidden above the stove.

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Joey’s mom took pictures of the clues and the final scratch off announcing that we’re having a girl.  She couldn’t contain her excitement and showed the pictures to half the county.  I guess she showed this snobby girl who graduated with Joey.  Her response to my MIL?  “Well, somebody’s been on Pinterest.”  Seriously?  Did I really just spend an entire evening using my own ideas and creativity just to have my originality reduced to a Pin?  I did not click “download” and “print” off Pinterest.  No, each and every clue was well thought out and typed up by ME.

Now, I’m not saying that I’m the first person ever to have a scavenger hunt, nor am I saying that I’m the first to reveal my baby’s gender with a scratch off card.  I might be one of the first to combine the two…  Whatever.  IDC.  Just give me a little credit for my time and hard work!  If I did snatch something off Pinterest, I’d totally admit it, but I certainly could not see myself creating an entire party from a Pin.

Ugh.  Until next time, Happy Pinning!

Social Media and My Kid

Published September 12, 2013 by krystal

     I have Facebook friends who post a new cluster of pictures of their child at least twice a week.  I also have Facebook friends who very rarely post photos of their child.  I recently read an article about a couple who decided to leave their child off of the internet, but make a Facebook, email account, Instagram, and Twitter using their name.  I’ve been thinking a little about what degree of presence my kid will have on social media. 

     Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s fun to look at pictures of my friend’s kids.  Some are hilarious!  Some are so precious. Truthfully though, if I saw them and their child in a store, I would probably recognize their child before I would recognize them. Simply because the child’s most recent photo is their profile and page cover photo.  They rarely post their own photos, but opt for one’s of their little ones to fill their timeline instead.  I think it’s great that they love their children and want to show them off, but I’m not sure if that’s a route I’d like to go. 

I’m not personally a fan of excessive posting

     Say I were to name my child Jane Doe.  Providing that Facebook is still around, when she is 13 I allow her to get a Facebook account.  How would she feel when she added me if she found over 100 albums of “Jane’s pics?”  Every moment, no matter how large or small, were documented for all of my Facebook friends to see.  The awkward moments were there, along with the embarrassing ones.   As a 13 year old, I would have died if I were introduced to an online collection of my life in photos.  The only thing that would make that situation worse would be to know that it was posted for so many to see.  I had several periods of my life that I feel I looked awkward.  As a mildly insecure 13 year old, there is no way I would have wanted any of those photos to be seen. Teens and parents have enough relationship issues, why complicate it by throwing a massive social media scrapbook into the mix? 

     There is the possibility that my child will be upset that their entire life was not published online for the world to see.  In that event, I plan to hand her a flash drive or CD (or perhaps and external hard drive?) full of those pics, and let her go to town posting it on her own Facebook, or mine I guess, if she wanted to. 

     Now, let’s pretend that a little while after Jane is born, I get pregnant again with Joey Junior (I would never name my kid Junior, btw).  My hands are so full with Jane that I don’t get around to uploading nearly as many photos of Junior as I did with Jane. Junior might not be very happy when he found out he only had 30 albums of “Junior’s Pics,” compared to Jane’s 100.  Perhaps as a boy he wouldn’t care.  Perhaps as a boy he would.  Perhaps he wouldn’t be a boy at all…

     Then there’s always the possibility that someone could hack into my account or a friends account, find out what school my child went to, then by facial recognition alone call them by their name.  They could pull the whole, “Jane, your mommy sent me to pick you up…”  Or I suppose if they saw us in a store and I turned around for a minute…  You get the point.  I don’t want my child to be recognizable to strangers online.  Is it just me, or is that a little creepy:  Many people know a ton about Jane, but Jane doesn’t know any of them. 

     I suppose the easiest fix would be to only have close friends and family on Facebook.  But honestly, I want more than that.  I like keeping up with others, and I like reading articles they post.  I like having a lot of Facebook friends (except during election time!).

I don’t like the avoidance of posting either

     I’ll just go ahead and start this section with the couple who opted to make their child her own online presence before birth.  They made all of the accounts private, but logged into them to keep them active.  All of the social media accounts were linked to the email account.  They made a binder with the account information and passwords so that she could log in when she reached the appropriate age.  I’m blindly assuming that the email address they chose was similar to jdoe@gmail.com , where the address was the first initial and last name.  It could have been whole name too, I suppose:  janedoe@yahoo.com.  To me, that’s kind of silly.  As a 13 year old, she might possibly want something more fun (like blondiegirl2013@yahoo.com )until she was older and actually needed a professional-sounding email account, idk, just a thought.  That couple seemed a bit over the top to me.  They actually Googled the baby’s name to make sure that it did not already belong to someone they wouldn’t want their child to be confused for.  Maybe I’m wrong, but usually people are over 20 by the time they get a record online (yes, some are younger, I know).  That means if they did locate a “bad guy” with their child’s name, the bad guy would be nearly 40 by the time the baby was seeking employment.  Kinda hard to confuse a 20 year old and a 40 year old, right?  Confession:  After reading this, I totally Googled both of my first choice kid’s names.  The male is a relative of Joey, so of course the relative popped up.  There was nothing for the girl though.  My names are pretty unique.  Our last name is pretty unique.  I’m not saying our kids will be the only ones alive in America with their names, but it could be a possibility.  It’s not the goal, though.

     Now, if I never posted a picture of Jane, people might wonder if I actually made the child up (lol).  After all, I still haven’t posted the first ultrasound.  Joey and I do want to occasionally post a pic, maybe a few a year, but not to the point that everyone’s feed is littered with Jane and nothing but Jane.  I do not plan to put just Jane as my profile pic  (My page is somehow linked thorugh Google, and everyone can see my profile pic.).  It’s not Jane’s Facebook, it’s mine.  J  We also want people to be able to see her pics occasionally, but not necessarily everything she’s ever done, if that makes sense.

What about relatives far away?

     We certainly want family members from far away to see her photos!  How did people share photos years ago?  By actually printing and mailing them!  Ok, we’re not really that old school.  We’ll probably send them via text.  We may even create an online photo album that is not connected to Facebook.  Either of those would be good options to keep family updated without having Jane plastered all over social media.  

What if others post pics of Jane?

     ImageI guess that would be fine.  I’d prefer not to be linked back to the pictures though.  I want her online presence to be a minimum.  I’ve also considered the possibility of posting pictures 3-6 months later, so there is never a current photo online.

 

                My reasoning is just so that she can keep her privacy before she has the opportunity to make decisions for herself.  I realize that parents are the ones who make decisions for minor children, but posting excessive photos on social media is not a decision I want to make for her.

Maybe I’m being a bit extreme but it seems like in a few years we’ll see lawsuits pop up between kids and parents.  We’ll see the kid suing for invasion of privacy, exploitation, any number of things.   Hey, it’s possible!

The First Trimester

Published September 8, 2013 by krystal

It all started on the “First Annual In-Law Family Gathering” in

Pirates vs. Dodgers!

Pirates vs. Dodgers!

June.  Ok, that’s what I’m going to call it because 1.) Joey can’t come up with a last name for my blog; 2.) We were chilling with MY in-laws; and 3.) We plan to do it every year (the gathering, not necessarily the pregnancy).  It might have been the excitement of the Pirate’s win over the Dodgers that sparked the baby to come to life, or perhaps it was the upside down and high speed roller coasters that shook my system into functional, either way, something worked!

A side note:  June was my 4th or 5th month using an Ovulation Predictor Kit (OPK).  In the few months before, I always got a positive on the 13th day.  In June, I did not get a positive on day 13, 14, 15, or 16.  I stopped after 16 was negative, thinking that something was just wrong that month.

June 20– This was probably one of my worst days ever.  I had a migraine.  I’ve only ever had 2 in my life.  This was the worst.  Every little sound was magnified, and I was grouchy because of lights and the noise.  Interestingly enough, Joey also woke up with throwing up and with a migraine.  We both thought we had overdone working at our new house.  I don’t know what was wrong with Joey, but for me, it was the baby!

June 29– This was our first morning in our new house.  We spent many hours painting and getting it ready to move in.  I was two days late, so I decided that the first thing I would do when I woke up was to take a pregnancy test.  As I sat there waiting for the digital display, Mason came up.  He acted like he was watching it too.  At one point I said, “Don’t get excited, Mason, it always says no.”  A few seconds later the reading appeared.  It didn’t say no this time.  It said pregnant!  I rushed into the bedroom, woke Joey, and told him to look.  Since he had just woken up, he was not as excited, and he could not read, since he did not have his glasses on.  He told me that I needed to take another test to be sure (because false positives are sooooo common).  The second test was positive too!  He suggested I take a third, and I told him he was crazy.  I was so excited, but there was one little problem:  my insurance was up the next day.  Sure, we had purchased temporary insurance to cover us from July 1- September 1, but that insurance did not cover prenatal visits.  It also said that they would not insure pregnant women.  Oops!  We were so lost and did not know what to do!  The only thing we could think of was to call Joey’s oldest brother.  Him and his wife are older and more well versed in the ways of the world, so without telling our parents, they were the first option.  Big brother said I wouldn’t need to go to the doctor until I was 8 or 10 weeks any way.  He said we should go ahead and tell people when we wanted, but leave it off Facebook, just in case something happened and we had to use that temporary insurance (Then I could pretend not to know at that doctor’s office).  I had already had a first interview that was promising, with a very positive outlook on that position, so I had a feeling it would work out.

July 3 & 4– We told our parents about the baby via a video I made and posted on YouTube.

July 8– I got the job!  I found out shortly thereafter that my insurance would start August 1!  Perfect!

Screen Shot 2013-09-06 at 6.07.23 PM

 

August 6– I had my first doctor’s appointment.  The baby actually looked like a baby, not a bean or whatever.  It actually kinda made me think of the worm from The Labyrinth.  It didn’t have the curve in it like that, and it’s little arms and legs were crossed in front.  It was so sweet seeing the little kid!  It’s heartbeat was 179.

 

My September appointment was relatively routine.  I had to do an early glucose test, since diabetes runs in my family.  It came back negative, so that was great.  We heard the baby’s heartbeat.  It was 151.  I scheduled my October appointment, and we’ll get to find out what we’re having (if the baby cooperates).

The whole pregnancy hasn’t been too bad.  I woke up sick at 1:30 one night.  That lasted a terrible 15 minutes, but fortunately hasn’t happened again.  I usually have a stomach ache at least once a day, but it’s not too bad.  If I stand too long or walk too far, my back hurts.  I have the nose of a bloodhound, which is nice when things smell good, but is terrible when things smell bad.  Then there’s the acne, and bacne.  I had a better complexion all through my teen years.  Other than the fact that Mason doesn’t really want much to do with me, the whole first trimester has been okay.  I’m not sure if I’m one who loves being pregnant… yet, but it’s not bad either!

Vacancy

Published March 13, 2013 by krystal

Last week, before heading to the fertility doctor, I randomly decided to stop following the two or three blogs about difficulties conceiving.  I guess I just kinda got tired of seeing them pop up, plus I never really read them after the first couple of times any way!  I hoped that my fertility struggles would not be as extreme as those.

Friday I visited the doctor.  An ultrasound was done, and showed that everything was normal!   The pipes are working just fine!  It’s a miracle!  It was very exciting news, because let’s just face it–the idea of any fertility drugs is scare-ree!

I called my mom to tell her that I officially have a vacancy sign on my uterus, and maybe somebody will come and make it home for 9 months.  She was excited.  She responded by saying, “So are you going to start trying now, or wait a while?”

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
(That was the sound my heart made when it hit the floor.)

I responded with, “Yeah, we’ll just keep trying.”

We have been trying for a year.  I have indulged on Twin Lab Prenatal vitamins for 12 months now.  Even when the doctor said it wouldn’t happen (without medication) in November, we still tried.  Granted, we weren’t exactly hoping to get pregnant in the first 3 months, but were trying none-the-less.  As it turns out, it didn’t matter anyway, because the Depo shot was still very much in my system, preventing pregnancy.  

Everything should be fine now.  If I’m not pregnant by September, I will go to a doctor in Arkansas.  Until then… we wait.  we try, again.  

I’m not thinking we’re out of the water, free and clear just yet.  There still lies the fact that we’ve worked so hard for this.  Basically, I hope people don’t start in with the crazy comments couples who are TTC often hear.  Until then, we’ll just keep on keepin’ on, but this time, we have an OPK.

ImageLet’s just hope the “NO” part lights up soon!
Krystal*

 

 

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, my husband and I can’t have a baby.

Published December 23, 2012 by krystal

♪ ♫♪ ♫ Hey!  I just met you, and this is crazy, my husband and I can’t have a baby. ♪ ♫♪ ♫

Ok, so that’s not exactly how it went, and the statement isn’t 100% true.  My sweet coworker who I haven’t had the opportunity to get to know very well made a comment to me while traveling, which has inspired this post.  A teaching couple in our village has the most adorable 8 month old boy.  They were at the airport with us, and so I asked to borrow their precious baby.  I was hanging out with the little dude, then my coworker wanted to share.  I let her have him, then she playfully said, “Get your own, you’re married!”  Luckily, I was having a good day, so I just laughed it off.  If it were a bad day, there is a chance I would have been upset for the entire 30 whatever hours of flying.  I very nicely told her later in the trip that we were struggling to have a child and would appreciate it if comments weren’t made again.  She felt terrible about it, even though I told her there was nothing to worry about, after all, I was having a good day.

Our baby problems are not a big secret, at least I don’t think they are, and I definitely don’t want them to be.  I would much rather people know there are problems, than to make potentially hurtful comments without knowing.  If I would have gotten upset over my coworker’s comment, I couldn’t be too mad at her because she didn’t know.  So I think I’m better off just telling people up front.

Seriously though, how do you start that convo?   We could certainly start with, “Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, my husband and I can’t have a baby?”

I don’t want people to know to feel sorry for us.  We both have classrooms full of 15 kids, two fabulous nephews, the most awesome cat on the planet, and not to mention the love of each other.  We’ve got a lot, and tons of reasons to get happy and grateful.

I guess that’s the transition I’m stepping in to.  It’s ok if we don’t have a baby.  It would be a shame to waste these genes, yes, but it would be ok.

Maybe it’s like the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  I have definitely have experienced the anger and acceptance. Every time I learn about someone surprisingly/accidently getting pregnant, I would get angry/jealous.  It’s not nearly as bad anymore.  Now I just declare how unfair it is and go about my day.  I guess I’m in the acceptance stage.  I also have a feeling that It’s probably a never ending cycle of anger/jealousy and acceptance.  I guess we will see!

Comments from others try to put me in denial.  Perhaps we will randomly get pregnant on our own naturally, and beat the 2% odds.  I’m gonna go ahead and not bet on it.  If it happened, it would be awesome and a wonderful blessing, it just doesn’t seem realistic.  I could continue, but I’m not going to go back into this.

Maybe one day.
Krystal*

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