Things I’ll miss about Alaska (in no particular order)/Things I won’t miss

Living in Alaska seems to be such a novel idea.  Whenever we visit the lower 48 for the summer, EVERYONE has a story of when their third cousins neighbors sister’s brother in law’s aunt came to Alaska on vacation in 1986.  Or… they want to come.  I’m not kidding.  Few understand the vastness that is Alaska, so it is difficult for them to fathom that people don’t come to rural (bush) Alaska to visit, or tour on vacation.  There are no hotels or souvenir shops.  I have yet to meet the owner of the fishing charter (because it is non-existent) There is one store.  It is the size of a small Dollar General or large convenience store.

That being said, it’s funny when people ask what tourist things are around here.  Fortunately, Joey and I had the opportunity to do an interior tour in the summer of 2011 with his parents.  We got to see Mt. McKinley up close and personal in an air taxi.  We were close to bears, rafted the Chena River, panned for gold, and saw a glacier (there was more, but you get the point)!

Last summer (2012) we had the opportunity to spend 6 weeks in Fairbanks for my schooling.  That, plus the many trips we have taken to Anchorage for medical/personal reasons have shown us unique things we like about Anchorage/Alaska there are not in Arkansas.

1. Fred Meyer Oh how I will miss “Fast Freddies!”  Ok, so it’s basically a more expensive Wal-Mart with higher quality goods.  They sell OPI nail polish and Levi’s jeans.  They also sell men’s Hanes whitey tighties 6 for $32.  They have this beauty line called “essence.”  I’ve only tried the nail polish.  It’s $1.99 (sometimes $.99) and is worth every single cent!

When I was in Fast Freddies this weekend checking out the essence polish, this lady walked up and asked me what I though of the brand.  I told her I loved the polish, it usually lasts 5 days or so, but haven’t tried anything else.  She responded, “Well it’s just so cheap… you probably get what you pay.”  Didn’t I just say the stuff was top of the line, regardless of price?

2. Red Robin Yumm!  There is a reason their slogan is just  “Yumm!”  They really don’t need any other words to describe the place!  I am sad that we will probably not get to see another Red Robin for years.  The Crispy Chicken sandwich is off the chain.  All burgers/sandwiches come with bottomless french fries, but with large and delicious sandwich portions, who needs endless french fries?  I think there is a Red Robin in Memphis, so perhaps Joey will take me one day!

3. OPI Nail Polish Yes, there is OPI in Arkansas, I’m just not sure where (Besides Cosmo Prof, which I don’t have a license to).  In Anchorage, it’s at Fast Freddies and several stores in the mall.  It seems like it’s everywhere I go, which is fabulous.  It will be difficult to go from having all the polish I can imagine at the tip of my fingers, to not knowing where to get them!  Perhaps I can just buy them on Amazon or something.

4. Views from the Plane  I will NOT miss having to fly to get to a decent-sized store, or to see a doctor.  I will miss the beautiful view from the air, though.

Several years ago, I was on a short flight with a coworker between two villages.  Looking out the window, we could see a Momma moose and her baby.  The pilot swooped down so we could get a better look!  It scared the moose and they took off!  😦  Of course, being in a plane, we got to follow them a little ways before getting back on the course to the village.  That was truly a once in a lifetime experience–chasing moose in a plane.

********************************************************************************************************

Things I’ll Be Happy to Have (Again) (In no particular order)

1. Bath & Body Works For some reason, this wonderfully smelling store and it’s contents have yet to make it to the Last Frontier.  Many summers/Christmas breaks have been spent stocking up on body cream, soap, and hand sanitizer so that we have plenty to last for the semester.  It will be very nice to not have to stock up!  Also, I will be able to buy and use the seasonal scents BEFORE the season (It’s March and we are using Candy Cane and have “Vanilla Bean Noel up next)!

2. Victoria’s Secret This store has yet to grace the Land of the Midnight Sun.  Joey and I have gotten pretty good at ordering from them online, but it’s still not the same as actually going to the store.  There’s just something about the pink stripes that get me!

3. Better Chinese Anchorage has an ok Chinese restaurant.  North Pole (Fairbanks) actually has an award-winning Chinese restaurant, but we probably won’t go back.  But… there is a wonderful Chinese restaurant not too far from our new house!  🙂  I think we will go there every week for many months after we return!

4. The ability to not wear outer clothes  Putting on gloves, a hat, scarf, big heavy coat, and sometimes goggles most of the year is not fun!  I’m so excited about getting to wear flip-flops, sandals, and skirts for most of the year again!  I want to go to the tanning bed and have a reason (so I’ll look good in those skirts!).  Bottom line:  I’m tired of being covered up completely from head to toe!

12/20/07 My BFF and I used to run around taking pics of each other. This was one of the sites we ran into one day.

5. The Great Outdoors  Five years ago I practically lived outside!  I loved to go hiking, hunting, fishing, you name it!  If it was outside, I was there.  Granted, I have a gorgeous house now (a reason to hang out indoors), but I’m just ready to go outside and do something!  I could go outside here, but it’s kinda cold, and it’s not easy walking in snow.  So… I’ll just stay in.  🙂  Fortunately, we have a Florida vacation coming up in a beach front condo at the end of May.  I think that will jump-start my outdoorsyness.  I really miss being able to go out and explore.

Joey is determined that we will return to Alaska one day to see the inside pass and maybe tour the interior again when we retire.  I don’t know about all that.  In case you can’t tell, I’m very ready for a much-needed change!  Don’t get me wrong, it is a very beautiful place, but I’m ready for trees, green grass, and dirt!

If you come to Alaska, try the burger Crispy Chicken!
Krystal*

Vacancy

Last week, before heading to the fertility doctor, I randomly decided to stop following the two or three blogs about difficulties conceiving.  I guess I just kinda got tired of seeing them pop up, plus I never really read them after the first couple of times any way!  I hoped that my fertility struggles would not be as extreme as those.

Friday I visited the doctor.  An ultrasound was done, and showed that everything was normal!   The pipes are working just fine!  It’s a miracle!  It was very exciting news, because let’s just face it–the idea of any fertility drugs is scare-ree!

I called my mom to tell her that I officially have a vacancy sign on my uterus, and maybe somebody will come and make it home for 9 months.  She was excited.  She responded by saying, “So are you going to start trying now, or wait a while?”

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
(That was the sound my heart made when it hit the floor.)

I responded with, “Yeah, we’ll just keep trying.”

We have been trying for a year.  I have indulged on Twin Lab Prenatal vitamins for 12 months now.  Even when the doctor said it wouldn’t happen (without medication) in November, we still tried.  Granted, we weren’t exactly hoping to get pregnant in the first 3 months, but were trying none-the-less.  As it turns out, it didn’t matter anyway, because the Depo shot was still very much in my system, preventing pregnancy.  

Everything should be fine now.  If I’m not pregnant by September, I will go to a doctor in Arkansas.  Until then… we wait.  we try, again.  

I’m not thinking we’re out of the water, free and clear just yet.  There still lies the fact that we’ve worked so hard for this.  Basically, I hope people don’t start in with the crazy comments couples who are TTC often hear.  Until then, we’ll just keep on keepin’ on, but this time, we have an OPK.

Let’s just hope the “NO” part lights up soon!
Krystal*

 

 

Identity Crisis: People are Homographs

My parents both have fairly common first names.  I have not checked, but those names were definitely top ten for the 1950’s and 1960’s babies.  Think of the Ashley’s and Jessica’s of the 1980’s, Haley’s of the 1990’s, and Madison’s of the 2000’s.  Our surname (my maiden name) is in the top 50 on one list.  I think it should be higher, but whatever.  When you combine a top ten baby name with a top 50 surname, you are bound to get many repeats across the nation.  People move around throughout life, and thanks to the internet (Spokeo) we can see how many Ashely Smiths there are in America (there’s about 3,500 in California, Texas, and Florida, FYI).

My parents intentionally named me a not-so-common name, so I would not be known as Ashley S. during all of my school years.  I could proudly boast my name and be the only one. Sure, everyone could say they had heard my name before, or that they knew someone who knew someone with my first name, but it wasn’t like a top 10 name or anything.  EVER.

“Mary Smith” is a homograph for “Mary Smith,” as long as you’re talking about two different ladies, just like dove and dove are homographs.

I managed to make it through life until about 21 without ever knowing my name was shared by another.  How did I find out?  Well, I thought you’d never ask!  I got a collection notice from Dillards for a Dillard’s credit card with the same name as mine (it wasn’t actually mine).  Shortly thereafter, I started getting notices from many other store credit cards.  The notices from attorneys shortly followed.  My dad, the concerned parent, sat me down to ask me about all these credit cards I had.  I convinced him it wasn’t me (because it wasn’t), and called the phone numbers on the notices. Some 20/20 special or something told me that I could be responsible if I did not clear my name, even though the Social Security Numbers and all true identifying info did not match up.  Somehow, they had all her information except they had my address and home phone number.  I could easily prove it wasn’t me, but the calls and letters went on for years (I’m pretty sure no one believed me when I told them it wasn’t me.  One of the idiots operators read me all of her info–including SSN and address at one point.  I hope they’d never give out my info like that!).  It was so annoying.  I had to call the credit agencies to make sure my credit was stable.  I think it’s all settled now.  So, I guess I’m cleared now.  Either way I’m married now and my new surname is in the top 20,000.  My name is not found on Spokeo.  I think I found one teenager on Facebook who shares the name, so hopefully she’ll marry soon and I’ll be the only in America.  🙂

Back in the 90’s my dad worked for a rather large company that had offices in many different states.  There was a man at a different office with the same name.  That made company parties interesting.  Dad said he had met one other man with the same name in his life.

Not really our house. I just Googled “dream house.”

Now for my mom, bless her heart, she has had more name issues than any of us!  In 1994, my parents built their dream home in an area we had just moved to.  Our house was progressing along, when the builder got a call from a woman with the same name as my mom.  The lady said something like, “My name is Mary Smith.  That house at 13 Elm Street is mighty nice.  I was wondering if it was for sale.”  Instead of telling her she was the future owner, the builder told her it was a custom home built home and would not be on the market.  When he told my parents the story, they assured him that it was not my mom who called.

A few years later, my mom managed to have some mutual friends with the other Mary Smith.  She might have met her once, but I’m not sure.

You got one minute!

Last week, my parents phone started ringing off the hook at 5:55 AM.  Friends and acquaintances from all corners of the state were calling to let her know that one of the local news stations called her name and she was the proud winner of $1,500!  My mom was initially excited, but then she realized she doesn’t watch the morning news show and she did not enter to win $1,500.  As she was telling this, I was looking at the news station’s Facebook page where it was talking about Mary Smith from Anytown winning the money.  Someone even said she knew it was my mom by identifying her occupation!  For the rest of the day, my mom had to tell many people that she was sadly not the recipient of $1,500.

My brother’s name must have been much more unique than the rest of us, because he never had these kind of problems!

I’m glad there’s only one Me and Mason! 😉
Krystal*

Just Your Typical Friday Night MANi…

Wow, it has been so long since I have posted!  I have been trying to work on my grad school project, so blogging hasn’t been my first priority.  Oh yeah, plus this nasty cold.  And I’ve been harboring a secret that’s eating me alive…  Anyhow, on to last night.

Joey and I constantly lose tweezers.  It’s bad.  I bought one of those fancy ones with the pretty ladies… I put them in a certain spot in the bathroom so I would never lose them.  Guess what?  After Christmas they’re lost (I’m not accusing anyone here, because I know no one was in our house but us)!  After turning the house upside down, Joey agreed we should buy some off of Amazon.  We could get 3 pairs of contoured shaped ones for $4!  Sweet!  I won’t feel bad about losing these, they’re cheaper than the cheap ones at Wally World!  The only problem:  they’re ALL blue.  Eww.  If I’m gonna pluck tiny invisible hairs out of my forehead I would like for my tweezers to be fancy.

Last night, Joey put a movie on, and Freddy joined us.  I was painting polka dots on the first and second pairs, and decided to do swirly flowers on the third pair.  Freddy took notice and admired my abilities.  I told him I would paint his nails next, expecting him to say no.  Boy was I wrong!  He put his hand out and asked for a skull!  I painted a flower.  🙂  I removed it and tackled the skull.  I was all finished and proud of my work, and took a very fuzzy picture.  When I went to try again, I knocked the nail, smudging the polish.  The commotion got Joey’s attention.  Somehow during all that he missed the memo that Freddy was getting his nail done!  So… I removed it again, and painted the skull again.  This time it was a little better (cuz I was experienced).  I took pics and was proud of my work.  Freddy said he’d wear it to school, too!

The Clean Up Wasn’t So Hot, But Over All, It Looks Great!

  I started off with Seche Vite Base Coat, painted 2 coats of Milani White On The Spot, then used a dotting tool to create the skull with OPI Black Onyx.  I shut the party down with CND Super Shiney Top Coat.  I think I need more Seche Vite TC…

Here are my current nails:

Interlocking Dots

Ok, so I basically did this but stopped at #6.  I started with Seche Vite BC, then painted OPI Italian Love Affair on the top half of my nail.  I freehanded the bottom half with OPI Casino Royal (it dries so much darker than the bottle).  I freehanded it because the dots cover any mistakes, and too many coats tend to chip.  I finished with CND Super Shiney TC.  I just love the interlocking dot look!

 Hopefully next time won’t be so long!
Krystal*

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, my husband and I can’t have a baby.

♪ ♫♪ ♫ Hey!  I just met you, and this is crazy, my husband and I can’t have a baby. ♪ ♫♪ ♫

Ok, so that’s not exactly how it went, and the statement isn’t 100% true.  My sweet coworker who I haven’t had the opportunity to get to know very well made a comment to me while traveling, which has inspired this post.  A teaching couple in our village has the most adorable 8 month old boy.  They were at the airport with us, and so I asked to borrow their precious baby.  I was hanging out with the little dude, then my coworker wanted to share.  I let her have him, then she playfully said, “Get your own, you’re married!”  Luckily, I was having a good day, so I just laughed it off.  If it were a bad day, there is a chance I would have been upset for the entire 30 whatever hours of flying.  I very nicely told her later in the trip that we were struggling to have a child and would appreciate it if comments weren’t made again.  She felt terrible about it, even though I told her there was nothing to worry about, after all, I was having a good day.

Our baby problems are not a big secret, at least I don’t think they are, and I definitely don’t want them to be.  I would much rather people know there are problems, than to make potentially hurtful comments without knowing.  If I would have gotten upset over my coworker’s comment, I couldn’t be too mad at her because she didn’t know.  So I think I’m better off just telling people up front.

Seriously though, how do you start that convo?   We could certainly start with, “Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, my husband and I can’t have a baby?”

I don’t want people to know to feel sorry for us.  We both have classrooms full of 15 kids, two fabulous nephews, the most awesome cat on the planet, and not to mention the love of each other.  We’ve got a lot, and tons of reasons to get happy and grateful.

I guess that’s the transition I’m stepping in to.  It’s ok if we don’t have a baby.  It would be a shame to waste these genes, yes, but it would be ok.

Maybe it’s like the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  I have definitely have experienced the anger and acceptance. Every time I learn about someone surprisingly/accidently getting pregnant, I would get angry/jealous.  It’s not nearly as bad anymore.  Now I just declare how unfair it is and go about my day.  I guess I’m in the acceptance stage.  I also have a feeling that It’s probably a never ending cycle of anger/jealousy and acceptance.  I guess we will see!

Comments from others try to put me in denial.  Perhaps we will randomly get pregnant on our own naturally, and beat the 2% odds.  I’m gonna go ahead and not bet on it.  If it happened, it would be awesome and a wonderful blessing, it just doesn’t seem realistic.  I could continue, but I’m not going to go back into this.

Maybe one day.
Krystal*

The Joys of Infertility

When you are young, you’re told how not to be a Teen Mom.  That is the rule book for responsible girls with bright futures.  When she and the love of her life are in the position to have a baby, they do what they can and magically, there is a baby on the way!

Except sometimes there isn’t.  Sometimes it just doesn’t happen as nature intended.

That is where we are.  After a 7 month trial, and finding out I have low AMH and Chronic Anovulation, we have sought help.  I will be on drugs in March.  In the mean time, there are some things I have found that totally bother me.

Like when people say:

• “Are you going to have a baby?”

Maybe.  I don’t know.  Probably not in the next 9 months.  Apparently, it is not appropriate to ask this question anytime.  I assume if a woman has a baby bump, is sitting on the ground screaming that she is in labor might be an appropriate situation to ask the question, but other than that, no.  It is totally not appropriate if she has been trying for 7 months.

•  “So-and-so tried for 35 years, before they got pregnant will little Johnny.”

That’s fine for so-and-so.  We are not so-and-so.  I am Krystal and my husband is Joey.  I feel terrible for so-and-so and their former fertility issues.  I hope they enjoy little Johnny’s bedtime story tonight.

• “Just stop stressing about it.  When people stop stressing is usually when they get pregnant.”

The majority of our trying, up until September was just pulling the goal keeper.  I was mildly paying attention, but it was not like a live or die situation.  So… it’s not a stress issue.  I’m less stressed now than I have been in years, or maybe I just know how to handle it better.  Regardless, it has nothing to do with stress, my body is just not working!  Relaxation will not cure my MEDICAL problem.

• “At least you don’t have to constantly clean/can easily travel/can do anything you want.”

I guess.  My house is not spotless anyway.  I would love to take my child to Disney or the Zoo, or anywhere for that matter.  I’m a kid at heart who likes to play games at Chuck E. Cheese… childless.  I’d rather do everything I want with a baby by my side!  It’s kinda like telling someone who just lost their mom, “At least you don’t have to buy a Mother’s Day gift!”

• On Facebook:  “This heartburn/morning sickness is the worst!”

Is it?  I’ll trade you!  I’ll take 9 solid months of heartburn to get a baby in the end.  I’ll throw up anytime day or night like a regular bulimic if I get a baby 9 months later!  I really just want to comment on it by saying, “Trade ya!” or “Jealous,”  but somehow that might not be too appropriate, and might make me appear a little crazy.

What do you say?

• We’re praying for you/sending you good thoughts/sprinkling baby dust on your pictures.
• Don’t lose hope.  God has a plan for you. (It’s about me, remember, not the couple that tried for 35 years).

More things that bother me:

• Pee stick pics on Facebook.  I’ve probably taken more pee sticks in the last year than all my 777 friends combined.  I could post them on Facebook, too.  Then again, that just doesn’t seem appropriate.
• I really wanted a May or June baby, which meant that we would be finding out the gender about now.  I had it all planned out in my head:  we would go to West Virginia for Christmas and simultaneously announce the upcoming birth and gender with the entire family present.  We would ask they keep it a secret so we could have a separate but equal announcement in Arkansas a few days later.  Mason would be incorporated into one of the announcements via video (since he will not make the long journey until summer), and a few hours later the announcement would go out on Facebook.  It would be the happiest Christmas!
• There is no news to announce, so instead I get to see the Royal Couple and Facebook friends announce that their baby is due exactly when I was hoping for one.  Congrats!  Random FB friend, you have met a guy, started dating, gotten pregnant, engaged, and married in about half the time I’ve been trying!

I wish it were just that easy.

Krystal*

Hit Me Baby 105 Times!

I made this picture for you!

Today, Yesterday, ok… Sunday I reached 105 hits!  I would celebrate the 100, but I don’t know when it was!  I was at 97, then magically 105.  Thanks for reading, folks!

I wanted to give you all something really special as a token of my gratitude, like a big Chuck E. Cheese party, but the weather is bad, and I think my only Alaskan readers are Joey, Freddy, and maybe the girl who lives over the mountain.  That would make it difficult to have a party.  Most people would miss out!  😦  Anyhow, thanks for visiting!  To show my appreciation, I made you a picture!  I hope you love it!  I would write your names on it, but I don’t know all of them.  I hope I keep you mildly entertained and informed about the fun of living in Alaska, owning a sweet cat, and living it up with my spouse before children!

Happy No-Smoking Month-a-Versary to Me!

I have totally made it a month without any nicotine!  It’s been a little bit easier,

since pretty much no one around me smokes.  So I actually haven’t even smelled it for a month.  I did have help, I used Smoke Away.  The program says to not tell anyone until after a month.  I told a few people, but not too many.  I have a friend who quit after 30 or so years with Smoke Away back in 2003.  He still swears by it, so I decided to give it a try put all my faith in it.  Cigs are $10 something a pack here, so I always ordered them from the outside.  On October 7, I was out of cigs, so Smoke Away had to work.  Luckily, it did!  No one told me what it was like to stop.  For all I knew, I was going to wake up the next day feeling like a million bucks… not so much.  So what’s it like to quit smoking?  It’s like a lot of things:

1. Honestly, it was kinda like losing my best friend.  Before you go all, “Krystal!  Cigarettes are not your friend!” on me, keep reading.  I smoked for pretty much almost exactly twelve years.  That means high school.  College.  You name it.  I lost friends (not because of smoking) and boyfriends, but cigarettes were always there for me.  If I made a bad grade,

there was always a cigarette waiting to make it a little better.  When I felt like no one cared, a cigarette was there to comfort me.  When I was happy or celebrating, the cigarette celebrated with me.  It was always there, just a lighter flick away!

Losing your best friend is tragic.  It would almost make sense to smoke a cigarette after quitting just to feel comforted over the difficulties of stopping.  I cried.  I cried for many days in a row.  If Joey looked at me a little different than usual, I would cry.  When Mason started begging for his din din an hour early, I cried.  Everything was really difficult to handle.  After day three I stopped physically wanting one.  There were still many days where I kept wanting to go outside because I was bored or wanted something else to do.

Taking deep breaths and puffing/chewing on straws helped the first couple of days.  I could have continued with the straws, but I did not want to get hooked on straws.  Hey, I actually read something about people being hooked on toothpicks or straws.  I’m good.  No straws for me, please.  Except in my glass.  😉

It’s so nice to be free. I never knew how imprisoned I was!

2. Stopping smoking gave me FREEDOM.  Like, I can do anything whenever-I-want-to-freedom.  If I have a Master’s class at 4:10, I can stay at school until 4:05.  I am in no hurry to get home.  All I have to do is grab my computer and the phone.  I can stay at school and work after hours for as long as I want, there is nothing requiring my time anywhere else!

I also have the freedom of not hiding.  I don’t have to hide from anyone: students, parents, bosses, future employers, because there is nothing to hide!  This was a big one for me, I was such a closet smoker.  I told a very few of my coworkers that I was quitting.  One of them responded by saying, “Oh, wow, I didn’t even know you were a smoker.”  I guess I did a good job hiding it.  Well, not anymore!  Nicotine free, that’s me!

3. I was plagued for the first 2.5 weeks with little sleep.  It was awful.  I would wake up at all hours of the night. I would sleep two hours and be awake for one.  That went on and on and on…  Night sweats have also been a problem.  I remember one night waking up covered in sweat.  Like drenched.  It was pretty nasty.  I am so glad to be out of the sleepless/sweaty stage.  I still sweat a little, but not like that.  Now it’s just a

This is the homemade version of Gak, but you get the point.

challenge to fall asleep most nights.

4. ***TMI WARNING***  This one is a little gross.  The phlegm I coughed up was the grossest!  I should have sold it to a lab or something.  It looked and had the consistency of gak, and was slimy green colored, too.  The atrocious smell made me want to throw up.  I haven’t called Ralph since October 21, 2008, so you know how serious this situation could have been.

I am so glad that this phase only lasted a couple of days.  The normal phlegm is enough.  This nasty junk is just uncalled for!

*******************************************************

5. Since I quit I have said that it seems like time has just flown by.  I can’t believe it’s been a month already!  You would think that time would go slower, since I gained a couple of extra minutes or hours a day, but that was not the case.  Time just flies by!  Maybe it’s because I’m not longer wanting to smoke and watching the clock to see if Joey would say something about me smoking so often…

6.  I don’t have to wear perfume all the time anymore!  The only time I’ve worn perfume was a time I was on the elliptical and did not have time to shower before a group dinner.  Eww, I know, but isn’t that what perfume is for anyway?

7.  Mason smelled of my hands and me for the first week.  It was actually awkward.  I probably cried.

Yep, that’s me, pretty much! Hit the nail right on the head.

8. Speaking of smelling, I never thought I really lost my sense of smell.  Perhaps I did a little.  Now some things are so overpowering it’s disgusting!  Sometimes I’ll tell Joey how awful or strong something is… he doesn’t notice.

9.  It’s amazing the things I can do now!  I’m like a regular Super Woman!  I can go over 2 miles on a treadmill in 30 minutes.  I can run up the stairs really fast.  Why, I can even play games in the gym with my students.  Yes ma’am I can!  And I can do it all without huffing and puffing.  What’s better is that I can do it all without feeling like I am going to die because breathing is so difficult.  I know as the days and months continue to pass the breathing will just get easier and easier.

10.  I have not come to re-appreciate the great outdoors yet.  Not that there is much exploring to do here, really.  It is just difficult to be outside, because that is where I went to smoke.  I’m sure in time I will be able to sit outside or stand outside for a while, but for now, I will stay inside, it’s less of a trigger.  🙂

Thanks for reading my incredible journey.

Krystal